You’ve probably heard the old saying that it’s “bad luck” to see your fiancé before the ceremony. But where did that even come from? The tradition dates back to the days of arranged marriages, when couples often weren’t allowed to meet (or even lay eyes on each other) until they stood at the altar. Parents worried that if the groom saw the bride beforehand and wasn’t impressed, he might change his mind. To lower the risk, a veil became a safeguard: the groom wouldn’t see her face until the very last moment, when it was far too late to back out. Romantic… right?
Thankfully, times have changed. Today, many couples embrace the idea of a “first look”, sharing an intimate, emotional moment together before the ceremony.
(Above photos by Lively Photography)
More Time Together
Your wedding day will fly by, filled with excitement, family, friends, and celebrations. Doing a first look gives you precious extra hours with your partner before the whirlwind begins. You get to laugh, cry, breathe together, and soak in the reality that this is your day…together.
As Cheyenne Bulloch, a talented photographer we’ve had the privilege to work with, says:
"One of my favorite things about a first look is that it lets you slow down and soak in a moment with just the two of you…then we can get a ton of portraits done early so you can spend more of your evening celebrating with your guests instead of feeling like you’re being pulled away for photos the entire night."
Cheyenne captured the most precious first-look photos for Emily and Dylan.
(Above photos by Cheyenne Bulloch)
Genuine, Private Emotions
Seeing each other in private allows for emotions to be raw and authentic. Without hundreds of eyes on you, the groom gets to tell his bride how beautiful she is, and she gets to wipe the tear from his face. Imagine the difference: without a first look, your groom waits at the altar with clammy hands, while hundreds of guests anticipate his reaction, and there are definitely no words and embraces that get to happen. A first look is just for the two of you: intimate, unfiltered, and unforgettable.
(Above photos by Ashley x Ashley)
Reduce Stress and Nerves
Couples who see each other beforehand often find that their nerves melt away. Once they connect privately, a weight is lifted, and they can fully enjoy the ceremony and reception.
We love Alex Bo Photo, one of our frequent photographers, and she says:
"If my couples feel strongly about not seeing each other before the ceremony, I’m a really big fan of giving them some time alone immediately after the ceremony concludes, whether that be 2, 5 or 10 minutes. For weddings at The Barn, the bridal suite is the perfect place for this since it's private and secluded from guests. They haven’t seen each other all day, and now they can take a minute to soak up the fact that they’re married before diving into family, wedding party and couple photos. Right after that, we have to roll straight into knocking out our photo list and to be honest between cranky toddlers who missed their naptime, guests in the way and overstimulated grandparents, that “just married high” gets squashed pretty quickly.
By contrast, if they DID do a first look, we’ve knocked out all their formal photos already, so now their family is a bit happier getting to move straight into mingling mode and catching up with everyone at cocktail hour. If they have to take family photos during this time, I think it's worth considering that they lose that time to visit with their guests.
To summarize…when you do a first look, you get to ride that high all the way through your reception and spend far more time with your spouse than you would otherwise.”
(Above photos by Alex Bo Photo)
(Above photos by Alex Bo Photo)
A Smoother Timeline
Weddings involve a lot of moving pieces, and daylight matters. Particularly between November and February, sunset can creep up during or just after the ceremony. By doing a first look, you can ensure portraits are taken while the light is perfect and avoid feeling rushed.
More Photos, More Variety
With a first look, photographers can capture a wider range of moments throughout the day. This means your gallery isn’t limited to just a few post-ceremony portraits…every emotion, laugh, and glance can be documented beautifully.
Alex Bo also notes:
"The part of the day I love to shoot the most, and the photos that are often my couples’ favorite of the day are the “just married” photos right after the ceremony. When they’ve done a first look earlier, these photos just allow the bride and groom to exhale and ride that JUST MARRIED high. These are the photos most likely to get printed and posted (peep the profile photo change!). There’s no feeling like it! And let’s be real, high energy, celebratory photos with your wedding party just hit differently after the ceremony-- all of the formalities are out of the way and folks are just ready to hunker down for a good time!
Alex definitely captured that “just married high” and the energy that a wedding party can have after those formal photos are out of the way, with Jordan and Cole.
(Above photos by Alex Bo Photo)
The Joy of a Double “Best Moment”
The magic of seeing your partner for the first time isn’t just for the ceremony. A first look allows you to experience that incredible moment twice, once privately, and again in front of your loved ones. Both are special in different ways, and both will be memories you treasure forever.
photo by The Cantrells
photo by The Cantrells
(Above photos by Glynne Ashley Photography)
Why Some Couples Skip It
Of course, some couples prefer tradition or thrive on the anticipation of seeing each other for the first time at the altar. In those cases, options like a first touch: holding hands, reading letters, or even praying together, can give you a private, emotional release while still honoring that suspense.
photo by The Axmanns
photo by Savannah Sherwood
photo by Jaden Ann Photography
photo by Savannah Sherwood
At the end of the day, a first look isn’t about luck, it’s about what will make your day feel most magical, relaxed, and memorable for you. Whether you choose to see each other before the ceremony, during it, or with a first touch, the most important thing is that your wedding day reflects your love story……and you can relax knowing your day will unfold beautifully, with every detail in place and the perfect backdrop for your special moments.